I figured I donated ~500 dollars to the class, so why not go to a tournament? I went to the Santa Clara University (which happens to be a private catholic university…) to speak in (mock) Congress. We spoke on six bills yesterday, and since I didn’t break to semifinals I don’t have to speak on the other 4 today.
What I believe contributed to me not breaking is probably the fact that I did not speak enough. There were six bills, but I only made a speech on two: Immigration and Intelligent Design. The problem is, whenever I stand up, I’m not called. The only reason I was called for the Immigration and Intelligent Design bill was because I was the only one standing - the first speaker of the two respective rounds.
Maybe it’s because I’m short - I can’t see the speaker of the house myself, how can she see me? Maybe my last name Yan is last in precedence - Everyone else’s last names were all alphabetically before mine. Or, maybe I totally alienated the Mexican speaker of the house and the fanatical judge.
Bill 1: Opening our borders to immigrants from all non-sanctioned nations
The immigration bill wasn’t all that interesting, but I’ll mention a few random things that happened. Since I was affirmative on this bill, and only 3 of the 15 were, I got to speak first - maybe the only reason I got to speak at all. Of the six bills, I spoke only on 2 of them. The two I spoke on, I spoke first, when nobody but I stood up - I could actually see the speaker of the house then! Other times when I wanted to speak, and stood up, I myself could not see the speaker. I think I’m short, and should’ve sat up front.
Anyway, during the bill, a speaker in the negation of the bill began with a metaphorical introduction: “One atom can set off a whole nuclear chain reaction; similarly…” and related that to our immigration topic. So, during cross-examination (Question-and-answer period), I asked “A nuclear fission reaction requires the high-velocity collision of two subcritical masses of nuclear fuel, not a single atom as you earlier stated in your speech, in order for the reaction to begin; in regards to your metaphorical introduction concerning that, do you truly believe one immigrant can have such a detrimental effect on the nation?” And everyone laughed at the randomness of that - hey, she brought it up. I only extended it.
For the rest of the session, until Bill 5, I just sat there and asked as many questions as the Speaker accepted. But anyway, onto bill 5.
Bill 5: Teaching Intelligent Design in all Public Primary & Secondary schools
It’s obvious what stance I took, right? Anyway, this was funnier because I got to go first, and got to make all my speech criticizing “intelligent design” and supporting evolution. I had essentially a Jonathan Edwards moment, except instead of scaring people about hell, I chastised the whole religious foundation on which intelligent design is based. I began with these words: “Human beings are endowed by birth with a natural ability to think and deduce logically.”
Afterwards I explained why this bill is completely illogical. I went through the 150+ year history of evolution, explained that it still holds true today, etc, and that intelligent design is “clearly a religious transcript modified for political gains.” I then concluded all that (since my 3 minutes were up already!) with these words: “As you can see, while religion has its foundations on the lack of evidence denying its existence, science has its foundations on the abundant presence of evidence buttressing its existence; it can clearly be seen that in order for our nation to remain on the cutting edge of the international science game, we MUST teach our youth correctly - an education based on concrete proof, not mere speculation. And thus I urge a negative vote on this bill. Thank you.”
I didn’t get to finish my speech because I was allotted only 3 minutes, so I wanted to speak again. I stood up every time a negative speech came up, but I was not chosen to speak for any more.
Oh well. That was fun while it lasted - I didn’t break to semis but that’s ok. I got Sunday off!
